01
Drop the evidence
Upload a battlestation, desk, or homelab photo from your phone or desktop.
AI setup court is in session
LET AI
JUDGE YOUR SETUP.
Upload your battlestation, desk, or homelab. We'll score it, name its archetype, and roast the life choices visible in frame.
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Setup score
Cable Management Deferred Until Q4
74/100
Verdict generated
Guest roast station
UPLOAD. PICK HEAT. GET JUDGED.
Pick a photo, choose the heat, generate your report, then share it. Your in-progress roast stays in this browser only so a checkout return can pick up where you left off.
Uploads are temporary, retained up to 7 days for testing, deletable, and never used publicly without permission.
Preparing your guest roast…
Upload → laugh → share
ONE PHOTO.
THREE BAD DECISIONS.
02
Pick the heat
Friendly, Savage, or the suspiciously tempting Nuclear button.
03
Share the damage
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Sample setup report
AN ACHIEVEMENT CARD
FOR YOUR POOR DECISIONS.
Savage result
74
Setup score / 100
Setup archetype
SENIOR DEVOPS ENGINEER WHO SWEARS THE CABLES ARE TEMPORARY.
The roast
“You've got enough blinking LEDs here to guide aircraft into Tulsa.”
Awards unlocked
- Most Likely to Have a Pi-hole
- Cable Management Deferred Until Q4
Actually useful
Monitor height is solid. Your neck survives another sprint.
Upgrade the damage report
FREE FUN.
ONE DANGEROUS BUTTON.
The free result is the joke. Nuclear is for the people who see a warning label and call it a challenge.
GO NUCLEAR
You asked for this.
Longer, less merciful analysis
More jokes and awards
Three alternate share cards
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Choose Nuclear in your report when you're ready for the extended damage.
Before you upload
QUESTIONS FROM NERVOUS CABLE OWNERS.
Your setup asked for this.
UPLOAD THE EVIDENCE.
RECEIVE JUDGMENT.
One photo. One brutally specific report. One share card your friends cannot ignore.
Roast my setup